


Maybe It's Selfish Of Me, But I Don't Care About The World (Only About You)

by DemigodNamedAthena



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Canon is mine to do with as i please, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Literal Sleeping Together, Nick is a good boyfriend, Nightmares, Sleep Deprivation, Timeline is funky, i edited this while dissociating so idk what the fuck is up with it but i also dont care, set after the end of the series but Nick is still around, will Athena ever write a fic that's not hurt/comfort? the world may never know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 04:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18541966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemigodNamedAthena/pseuds/DemigodNamedAthena
Summary: Fine was not the proper adjective for Sabrina. Exhausted, more accurate. Tired, but not just from the lack of sleep. Tired of the constant fear, of pretending she was okay, of lying to her friends, to Nick. Wandering the streets of Greendale late at night might not have been her best idea, but she couldn’t stand to even look at her bed.Or:Sabrina has been having nightmares. Nick is a concerned boyfriend and helps her out.





	Maybe It's Selfish Of Me, But I Don't Care About The World (Only About You)

Sabrina jerked up in bed, spooking Salem away from her. Her heart thumped in her chest as image after image flashed through her head.

 

Roz, dead.

 

Theo, dead.

 

Harvey, dead.

 

Nick-

 

She shook her head. Dwelling on the dream -  _ because that’s all it was, Sabrina, just a dream  _ \- would do her no good. She sat up and swung her legs out of bed. There was always something to do, after all, and what harm could one night without sleep do?

 

And that’s what she said the next night,

 

And the next,

 

And the next.

 

///

 

Sabrina ran a hand through her tangled hair as she stumbled down the stairs, following the scent of pancakes to the kitchen, where Aunt Hilda was whisking batter and humming absently to herself.

 

“Blueberry?”

 

Aunt Hilda turned around with a smile that dropped quickly at her disheveled state.

 

“Sabrina? Darling, is this a new look you’re going for? Because I have to say, I don’t think the school will approve.”

 

“It’s the weekend, Auntie.” Sabrina frowned at her. Hilda cocks her head.

 

“No? Darling, today is Thursday.”

 

Sabrina paused and looked up at her aunt. Hilda stared back at her. Ambrose chose that moment to breeze in, stopping at the head of the table and completing their awkward triangle.

 

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” A smile danced on the corner of his lips, and Sabrina took it as an excuse to whisk herself out of the room, stopping when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror hanging in the hallway. Her hair was tangled and had the frazzled look of hair that had had fingers run through it repeatedly. Dark half-moons were stamped under her eyes as well.

 

“Oh Heaven,” She muttered, trying to parse out some of the knots. Eventually she decided it was a lost cause and shuffled up the stairs to take a bath. Hopefully she could wash off both her exhaustion and the fear that lingered at the edges of her consciousness.

 

Salem settled himself on top of her towel, neatly folded on the counter, and flicked a lazy tail towards her.  His presence was nice. Salem rarely featured in her dreams, his visage remained firmly in her waking moments. If Salem was here, then she was awake. Not replaying hellish images over and over or reliving impossible decisions.

 

His presence was reassuring, yes. But if she had to pick the ideal post-nightmare comfort, it wouldn’t be Salem. If she was honest with herself, she wanted to see the people from her nightmares in the flesh. Whole, breathing, alive. But she couldn’t exactly call up her friends in the early hours of the morning to assure herself that they were alive.  _ (They always were. And she knew this. But still, the uncertainty lingered. She wanted to touch them and see them and maybe cast a few hundred protection spells on them.)  _

 

Deep in thought, Sabrina found herself relaxing into the warm water, and she jerked herself away from the brink of sleep at the last minute. 

 

She quickly finished bathing and stood up out of the water before she could relax again, coaxing Salem off her towel and wringing the water from her hair.

 

After going through the motions of her morning routine, she headed out the door to the Academy.

 

The fear lingered still, itching at the edges of her mind. She shouldered her bag and walked faster.

 

  * ••



 

The Academy was imposing in every sense of the word  _ (up in flames, bodies draped over the stone stairs, a yellow sky behind it,)  _ but the aura of power around it was also soothing. 

 

The foyer looked oddly empty now, lacking the statue of the Dark Lord and the later statue of Faustus that had dominated the space. Sabrina was pulled out of her head by two hands gently covering her eyes.

 

“Hey Spellman.” Nick’s warm voice said in her ear. Sabrina smiled and turned around, grabbing his wrists and pulling them off of her eyes.

 

“Heya Scratch.” She smiled up at him, trying her best to ignore the wave of relief that washed over her.  _ (His eyes were brown now, not empty and red. The smile he gave her was genuine, not cold and threatening.) _

 

He placed his hands on the sides of her face and leaned down to press a kiss to her lips, pulling her closer. She sighed as he pulled away and resisted the urge to chase his lips. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

 

“You okay Sabrina? You look a little preoccupied.”

 

_ Her friends, dead, blood on her hands, a yellow sky with red clouds, hooves clomping closer, closer, closer… _

 

“No.” She smiled up at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice that it was hollow. “I’m fine.”

 

///

 

Fine was not the proper adjective for Sabrina. Exhausted, more accurate. Tired, but not just from the lack of sleep. Tired of the constant fear, of pretending she was okay, of lying to her friends, to Nick. Wandering the streets of Greendale late at night might not have been her best idea, but she couldn’t stand to even look at her bed. The dread of another nightmare combined with the anxiety of missing another night of sleep had her turning out of her room and marching out of the house without a destination in mind.

 

So here she was, shivering slightly in the cold air and trying to steer her thoughts away from the dark corners of her mind. Her feet led her past Baxter High, and she stopped to stare up at the building. She had stood her, in this same spot, just weeks ago, a gallon of gasoline in her hand.

 

She had almost burned down her school. She had been seconds away, the gas was spread, the match was in her hand. She had almost done it. Sabrina walked forward, climbing up the first couple of stairs before sitting down. She gazed out at her town, quiet and asleep, seeming like its own pocket of reality with nothing but the streetlights and stars providing light.

 

She stayed there till the sun rose over the tops of the trees.

 

///

 

She snuck back into her bedroom just as her alarm was going off, and she flopped down onto the bed. Her feet hurt, and so did her head, and she wondered if walking around at night, mid-spring, without a jacket, was her best idea.

 

Aunt Hilda bustled into her room, a ball of energy, sing-songing “Wakey-wakey!” She pulled up short at the sight of Sabrina and dropped her voice.

“Sabrina? You okay darling?”

 

She rolled over. “I don’t feel so good, Aunt Hilda. I think I’m getting sick.”

 

It wasn’t really a lie, she probably was. And her pale skin, dark circles, and generally disheveled appearance certainly helped her look the part. Aunt Hilda, thankfully, just draped a blanket over her and told her to feel better soon before backing out of the room. 

 

///

 

Sabrina’s day was long, each minute crawling by slowly and dripping with boredom. Twice, she drifted off to sleep only to jerk awake minutes later, heart pounding. She was sitting in bed, flipping slowly through the pages of a book, barely absorbing the words when there was a taping at her window. She jerked her head up and swung her legs out of bed. None other than Nicholas Scratch was at her window. She unlocked the latch and lifted the window, stepping back to let him in.

 

“Sabrina?” His voice was heavy with concern, and he climbed in through the window quickly. “Are you okay? You never came to school.” 

 

Satan, she was glad to see him.

 

“No, I’m not okay, Nick.” Her eyes stung with tears at the admission. He stepped forward and gently cupped her face. ”I’m so  _ tired. _ I haven’t slept in days, and everytime I do I keep having these nightmares, and I’ve tried  _ everything, _ rabbit’s feet under the pillow, lavender in the tea, but I can’t. Sleep.” Nick wiped away a tear and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

 

“Nightmares?” He inquired, keeping his voice soft.

 

She nodded mutely.

 

“I keep seeing Him. Him and other things, the town destroyed, the Academy, I keep seeing you-” She cut herself off and shut her eyes. “I keep seeing you dead.” She whispered.

 

“Hey,” He soothed, stroking his thumbs up and down in an soothing manner. “I’m right here, ‘Brina. I’m alive, and I’m not going anywhere.” She gripped his wrists tightly and looked up at him. His eyes were swimming with concern and she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him.

 

“I know,”  She said, voice muffled against his chest. “But I keep seeing it, and I can’t stop thinking ‘ _ what if?’ _ ”

 

Nick wrapped his arms around her, solid and warm and safe. He tucked her head under his chin, just holding her. A few tears slipped out of her eyes, and with them her last defenses crumbled down. A quiet sob wracked her body and Nick pulled her closer. The two of them stood together, Nick holding Sabrina as she cried into his chest and he rubbed soothing circles into her back.  

 

“Shh, I’m here, I have you,” Nick continued to murmur in her ear as he rocked her gently. After a while, her sobs quieted, and Nick pulled away enough to look at her.

 

“Sabrina, I think you should try to sleep.” He felt the way she tensed up and he gently pushed her towards the bed. Once she was sitting on the edge, he pulled away to grab her a pair of pajamas. Standing in front of her as he handed her the clothes and helped her into them, Nick could really see the toll the exhaustion was taking on her. Her movements were sluggish and he had to help her with the buttons of her top. Nick shrugged off his jacket and hung it up, toeing off his shoes and crawling in bed with her. Sabrina was chewing on her lips, looking apprehensive. He stopped in front of her and stared intently.

 

“What’re you thinking, Spellman?”

 

She shrugged and locked eyes with him. After a beat of silence he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

 

“I’ll stay with you tonight, and I promise that nothing will hurt you while I’m here.” He says into her lips. She gives him a quick kiss back and he slides under the covers with her. He pulls her gently into his arms, and she sighs and relaxes against him. They lay there in silence, Nick twirling strands of her hair around his fingers.

 

Her thoughts swirled as she tried to focus on the slight sensation of Nick playing with her hair, unable to relax fully. 

 

What if she couldn’t fall asleep and went another night without sleep? What if she hurt him somehow in the throes of a nightmare, what if what if what if…

 

The prospect of another sleepless night had tears pricking at her eyes for the second time that night. She felt Nick’s fingers under her chin, coaxing her head up.

 

“I can hear you thinking, Spellman,” He said before kissing her, effectively silencing her mind for the first time in days. Sabrina relaxed into it, allowing the sensation of his warm lips and hands to wash over her. After what felt like infinity and not enough, he pulled away.

 

“Sleep, Sabrina. I’ll keep the nightmares away tonight.”

 

He sounded so sure, and she was very comfortable, Nick’s hand had now started to gently card through her hair, and she finally let go off the last shred of willpower keeping her awake. Trusting that Nick was here, and alive, and safe.

 

(And when she woke up, hours later, panting and drenched in sweat, Nick was there to dry her tears and sooth her racing heart, lulling her back to sleep again. Sabrina was able to fall asleep knowing that  _ she  _ was safe, and cared for. Loved.

 

She slept soundly after that.)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm tired.  
> I've been fighting with this for days and I am Over It. I loved the concept, not sure how I feel about the end product, but I had a ton of fun writing it.  
> Nicholas Scratch is a good boyfriend who loves Sabrina and this would all 100% happen and you can pry this from my cold, dead, hands.  
> Please come yell at me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/demigodnamedathena)  
> , I have bad sleep habits and like to gush about shows.  
> -Athena


End file.
